Taking postings in some of the world's wildest and most remote regions, not to mention some of the roughest drilling rigs on the planet, Paul Carter has worked, gotten into trouble and been given serious talking's to in locations as far-flung as the North Sea, Middle East, Borneo and Tunisia, as exotic as Sumatra, Vietnam and Thailand, and as flat out dangerous as Afghanistan, Columbia, Russia, and Nigeria.

Paul survived all this with his crew, some of the maddest, baddest, and strangest people you could hope not to meet. Career highlights include being locked in the toilet by his own monkey, being assaulted by a midget and dysentery on a commercial airliner.

Twenty years in the making, this story teller has three international bestselling books. He is currently working on his fifth, Paul's first two books have been adapted into a screen play for feature film development and if all goes well an international blockbuster! Learn more about that epic journey here. Click here

don't tell mum book

Don't Tell Mum I Work on the Rigs…She Thinks I'm a Piano Player in a Whorehouse

A take no prisoners' approach to life has seen Paul Carter heading to some of the world's most remote, wild and dangerous places as a contractor in the oil business. Amazingly, he's survived (so far) to tell these stories from the edge of civilisation, and reason.

Click here to order the book online. (Australia, New Zealand and North America)

Click here to order the book online. (UK, Europe and rest of world)

"I am amazed at the legs this book has. A mate sent me this image the other day showing my book at Number 1 for UK Travel, remarkable when it's already ten years since it was first published. When I first wrote it, I thought who would read this. It's just life, what constitutes my life and ranting about it to be worthy of book form I have no idea, people keep buying them. If you have indeed done that, then I thank you. Its clinical name is attempted observational humour based on an obsessive-compulsive middle-aged man's attempt to deal with various forms of self-induced task saturation. I have had many people comment and write to me to share how much they have laughed and enjoyed Don't Tell Mum and it is great to know reading it made someone piss themselves laughing while on a train...yes that is what they told me. You're welcome." – PC


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Twenty years in the making, this story teller has three international bestselling books and has amassed over 2 million book sales world-wide.

Born in the UK, Paul lived in a fairly rough part of Aberdeen, Scotland's Oil Capital; his neighbourhood was on occasion like a cold wet version of Beirut. Most of the kids he hung around with where not the academic type, neither was Paul, in fact by the time he and his mates had all grown up, anyone who wasn't drug addicted, hadn't been charged with assault, or done serious time was considered a high achiever.

At the age of 15, Paul moved to Perth with his mum who had secured employment working for an American Oil Company. This move was to change Paul's life in so many ways.

By the time Paul was 16 he was working on drilling tools (thanks to his Mother getting him his first job). At 18 he moved to land rigs and then offshore overseas in third world countries at the age of 23. His formative years spent largely trying not to get killed during a Coup, Jihad, Up-rising, Insurrection or flat out War, all in the name of hydrocarbons.

In 2001 he was tasked with a seven year drilling campaign in Northern Russia. Securing that work post 9/11 involved a long and convoluted psychiatric evaluation that Paul promptly failed. Paul appealed and a subsequent re-evaluation saw Paul pass. This was largely as a result of a very amusing letter he wrote in his defence. This letter was later sent to a friend in Sydney (just for a laugh), who in turn sent it to another friend who works in publishing and he was offered his first book deal with Allen and Unwin.

Paul Carter was discovered by accident. He is now published globally in foreign languages, audio books, e-books and in 2015 production starts on the feature film adaptation of his first two books. The film will be produced by Madman

Entertainment, directed by Clayton Jacobson (Creator/Director of "Kenny"). Today Paul lives in Perth, Western Australia, with his wife and two children. He remains the same funny down to earth man and the nicest alpha male you'll ever meet.